Your life, your choice Lesson 18

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Your life, your choice Lesson 18

Healthy and unhealthy kinds of jealousy

Samantha baked cakes and Emlyn worked as an IT manager, overseeing all his company’s computers. Samantha loved making sweet things, but Emlyn did not enjoy the taste of sweet things. Samantha and Emlyn were total opposites yet very much in love with each other. They wisely planned to only get married in three years’ time, once they had saved up enough money to buy a house.

All the aunties in the neighbourhood marvelled at Samantha’s colourful cake creations, which were beautiful and highly sought after. They always tried to con- vince her to open her own bakery, but she made all her koeksisters, fridge tarts, cakes, baked cheesecakes and cupcakes from the comfort of her parent’s home.

Samantha loved to experiment with chocolate decorations on her cakes, be- cause she knew from her own experience that all ladies love chocolate. Baking cakes was her passion and a gift that made it possible for her to earn an income.

Meanwhile, Emlyn loved working with computers. He made a little extra money from home, helping his friends out from time to time. Together, the couple saved up towards their goal.

One day, Samantha was very excited about a cake with a chocolate mousse filling, which she had baked to perfection. Just as she lifted a spoonful of cake to her lips, her brother, Dereck, and his best friend, Thabo, walked into the kitchen. Thabo was a handsome guy with a great smile, and his eyes always sparkled when he saw Samantha. He knew Samantha and Emlyn were in a relationship and he respected that, but when he saw that chocolate delight coming to her lips he could not help himself. He wrestled the spoon from her hands to get a taste of that chocolate heaven.

As Samantha and Thabo laughed, Emlyn walked in and thought that he had intruded on a private moment between them. He got very jealous and angry, and was afraid that Thabo would steal his girlfriend. He grabbed the spoon and started eating big chunks of the cake. As he did, he got chocolate and cream all over his face. Although he did not like sweet things, he was determined to show Samantha that she did not need to test her cakes on Thabo.

That evening, Emlyn felt sick and threw up all night long. He swore never to eat cake again in his life. Samantha would just have to accept that or leave him.

Samantha giggled, because she thought Emlyn was silly. Luckily, his jealousy was healthy and not destructive to anyone but himself. Besides, he looked kind of cute with all that chocolate and cream all over his face. She adored Emlyn, and even though other men may be handsome, she was devoted and faithful to Emlyn and intended to be for the rest of her life.

Emlyn learnt that, although he did not wish to taste her cakes, the least he could do was to continually encourage her and compliment her cakes, so she would know that he took an interest in what was important to her. He wanted to nurture and love her for the rest of his life.


Group discussion

  1. Identify the R’s in the story.
  2. If someone is jealous over you, it is most likely out of fear of losing you. There is a healthy kind of jealousy, and there is a manipulative and destructive kind of jealousy. Jealousy stems from insecurity and can make your life very difficult. What kind of jealousy did we see in the story?
  3. Are you a jealous person?
    1. If you are, what kind of jealousy is it: healthy or unhealthy?
    2. How does your jealousy over someone affect you?
    3. How does someone else’s jealousy affect you?
  4. Jesus loves and accepts you. While it is important for other people to accept you as you are, do you accept yourself? Read John 13:1.
    1. What changes do you feel you need to make to be a better person?
    2. How can you encourage others to change for the better, without seeming insulting?
    3. God loves you too much to leave you as you are. What changes does he continually require from us (Colossians 3:5-14)?
  5. Can two people who have very different interests be in a relationship? Why or why not?
  6. God is a jealous God (Exodus 20:5). Does he use that jealousy to protect you or to destroy you?






Sections

Healthy and unhealthy kinds of jealousy

Samantha baked cakes and Emlyn worked as an IT manager, overseeing all his company’s computers. Samantha loved making sweet things, but Emlyn did not enjoy the taste of sweet things. Samantha and Emlyn were total opposites yet very much in love with each other. They wisely planned to only get married in three years’ time, once they had saved up enough money to buy a house.

All the aunties in the neighbourhood marvelled at Samantha’s colourful cake creations, which were beautiful and highly sought after. They always tried to con- vince her to open her own bakery, but she made all her koeksisters, fridge tarts, cakes, baked cheesecakes and cupcakes from the comfort of her parent’s home.

Samantha loved to experiment with chocolate decorations on her cakes, be- cause she knew from her own experience that all ladies love chocolate. Baking cakes was her passion and a gift that made it possible for her to earn an income.

Meanwhile, Emlyn loved working with computers. He made a little extra money from home, helping his friends out from time to time. Together, the couple saved up towards their goal.

One day, Samantha was very excited about a cake with a chocolate mousse filling, which she had baked to perfection. Just as she lifted a spoonful of cake to her lips, her brother, Dereck, and his best friend, Thabo, walked into the kitchen. Thabo was a handsome guy with a great smile, and his eyes always sparkled when he saw Samantha. He knew Samantha and Emlyn were in a relationship and he respected that, but when he saw that chocolate delight coming to her lips he could not help himself. He wrestled the spoon from her hands to get a taste of that chocolate heaven.

As Samantha and Thabo laughed, Emlyn walked in and thought that he had intruded on a private moment between them. He got very jealous and angry, and was afraid that Thabo would steal his girlfriend. He grabbed the spoon and started eating big chunks of the cake. As he did, he got chocolate and cream all over his face. Although he did not like sweet things, he was determined to show Samantha that she did not need to test her cakes on Thabo.

That evening, Emlyn felt sick and threw up all night long. He swore never to eat cake again in his life. Samantha would just have to accept that or leave him.

Samantha giggled, because she thought Emlyn was silly. Luckily, his jealousy was healthy and not destructive to anyone but himself. Besides, he looked kind of cute with all that chocolate and cream all over his face. She adored Emlyn, and even though other men may be handsome, she was devoted and faithful to Emlyn and intended to be for the rest of her life.

Emlyn learnt that, although he did not wish to taste her cakes, the least he could do was to continually encourage her and compliment her cakes, so she would know that he took an interest in what was important to her. He wanted to nurture and love her for the rest of his life.

Group discussion

  1. Identify the R’s in the story.
  2. If someone is jealous over you, it is most likely out of fear of losing you. There is a healthy kind of jealousy, and there is a manipulative and destructive kind of jealousy. Jealousy stems from insecurity and can make your life very difficult. What kind of jealousy did we see in the story?
  3. Are you a jealous person?
    1. If you are, what kind of jealousy is it: healthy or unhealthy?
    2. How does your jealousy over someone affect you?
    3. How does someone else’s jealousy affect you?
  4. Jesus loves and accepts you. While it is important for other people to accept you as you are, do you accept yourself? Read John 13:1.
    1. What changes do you feel you need to make to be a better person?
    2. How can you encourage others to change for the better, without seeming insulting?
    3. God loves you too much to leave you as you are. What changes does he continually require from us (Colossians 3:5-14)?
  5. Can two people who have very different interests be in a relationship? Why or why not?
  6. God is a jealous God (Exodus 20:5). Does he use that jealousy to protect you or to destroy you?

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